Sunday, January 1, 2017

Lesson Learned from 2016

Me, after everything that happened on 2016

2016 was... hard. At least for me. It was so hard that I don't even know what to write here. Lol, just kidding. 2016 was awesome and I think I learned a lot that year. I learned to know myself better and I learned that everything has its own silver lining. And also, we shouldn't compare ourselves to others because after all, everyone has their own path.

January was fine. Not really actually, because I failed one of my 7th semester subject but the lecturer gave me another chance for like "remedial". But anything else was fine. I went to Bali, I joined a bazaar at campus. It was fun.

February was awesome, but not really. So I won a competition held by another university, I think it was something, at least for my resume. Then I heard that someone I used to close already had someone else. It made me think that something's wrong with me. I mean, if I could borrow Taytay's lyric, it would be like this, "I go on too many dates, but I can't make them stay." So yeah, I thought that something was wrong with me. And then I the "remedial"'s score was out and turned out I failed the class again.

So March was like my mourning period. I spent that month in my room, simply done nothing. Like, I don't know what to say to my parents. Then after 2 weeks, I've had enough with the negativity. So once I heard about an internship opportunity in Bandung, then I took it. Then my lecturer said that there was one more chance for me, so I could graduate that year. Thus, by the end of the March, I thought everything's gonna be alright.

I realized that I really like working on April. Like, I could work until 2 A.M. just because I want to. And I was happy doing that. April felt so fast, because I was really busy with my internship. Another thing that I realized that month was, I love working so much that I would focus on my academic and career first. I realized that, I haven't been close with anyone on 2016 and I achieved so much more compared to before. I found peace in solitude. By the end of 2015, I knew that I want a serious relationship but I don't think I'm ready yet. So yeah, here I am.

May was kinda like April. But I started to worked on my thesis. May felt so fast too. Heck, I can't even remember what happened on May.

I was busy with my thesis on June, mostly because of the data collection. Then, I started to stress whenever I opened my social media. Because everyone was starting to graduate, yet here I am still with hundreds of Ms. Word's pages. I stopped my social media activity. I even made another Instagram account just so I could follow some accounts, but I didn't follow my friends. I mean, gosh I used to open my social media, like all the time. Then, no. I stopped almost everything. I still posted something on Snapchat but I barely watched my friends' snap. I only reachable from Line, sometimes Whatsapp.

July was kinda like June. There were Eid Al-Fitr, then July Graduation. I still swamped with my thesis' data. And by the end of July, I heard that my dosbing was gone for a month.

Mid August, my thesis was almost done but my dosbing haven't back to Indonesia yet. By the end of August, my thesis was almost done. And I ask my lecturer about the last chance to passed one of my class, then he said that I should ask for permission to my department head.

So I asked my department head early September. And he said that I couldn't get his permission. So I couldn't graduate on October. So yeah, I cried like a week. I have no friggin' idea what to say to my parents. For the first time in my life, I think that I totally let them down. Deep down, I knew it was all my fault and I just couldn't blame anyone but me. It felt like my world was falling apart. I was kinda doing nothing for about two weeks, like my mourning period on March. I already approached some company, hoped that there were internship opportunity. (I quit my earlier internship around July because I need to focus on my thesis) but there were no responses from them. And was like, "Oh crap what am I gonna do? Why does this happen to me?" September was one of the worst month, of all time.

Then on October, I heard another internship opportunity and I decided that, "I gotta try this one. I can't just laying around everyday in my pajamas. I'm not desperate." So I sent my CV, then they ask me to do some interview, then finally I got accepted. So I began my new adventure. And everything felt so fast, that I have my life spirit back by the end of October. I realized that everyone has their own path, their own pace. Just because I couldn't graduate on October, doesn't mean I completely failed my life. I mean, some people's path would be graduate first then got full-time job, but some people already have some work experience before graduate. And nothing's wrong with that. As long as you're not losing your enthusiasm, that's fine. Just don't you ever give up.

Well, to wrap up my throwback, November and December was pretty much alike. I live as an intern and a college student. I went to Bandung every Tuesday for class, then I back to Jakarta and work every Monday, Wednesday to Friday. I was so friggin' tired, but happy af. I met different people from different background, I learned so many things. And it was exciting because I became more sure with what I want to do.

Ah, another thing I learned this year was, be careful with what you wish for. I still regret it whenever I remember it. And after my prayer, I almost always pray that I could turn things around just so I could have another chance about something. And also, timing is everything yet timing is a bitch. Sometimes two great people just met on the wrong timing, so eventually they'll fall apart.

And I think my song of the year goes to, Sit Still Look Pretty by Daya. Thank you for the empowering lyrics. It's a friendly reminder that a girl shouldn't just sit around and do nothing. I personally think that the lyrics are so relatable. Love it.

2016 gave me so much. The pain, the tears, the plot twist. But I know that everything has its own silver lining. And I don't have to worry, because the best is yet to come :-)

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